Monday, September 30, 2013

Poly Problems Part 2

Back by popular demand 

Poly problems part two

-The "who's underwear is this?" Question becomes less awkward but more confusing, 

-Where to put your other arm when you cuddle .... You think it was tough with only two people? 

-Having to not kiss your lover when they come to pick you up for a lunch date because the Epic Drama Typhoon from co-workers

-Business trips:   lonely = ( total amount of lovers x days away) 

-No matter how hard you try you will never convince person "A" that you are not interested in person "B" because they are not poly. 

-Insecure people always think you are trying to steal their "Woman" / "Man" (steal ? Really? .... We are not even going to start the possession topic) 

-Having to remember phrases like "vanilla" "chocolate" and "Rocky Road "

-Personal time is now on the endangered species list 

-Holiday dinners with the family 

- Having to tell your lovers coworker that its ok .. No the marrage is not in trouble ... No you don't need anyone to talk to.. No you are not being abused....look it's very nice but I need to get ready for my date

-Having to explain the word "Frubble" 

-Sidewalks are designed for two people to walk side by side. 

-The strange phenomenon where people find the whole sleeping with someone else's wife is acceptable till they find out you have permission.  Then you get labeled a slimeball ..."Because cheating is ok"  WTF!!!

-That hottie can't understand that you are just not interested in them because you are "poly starurated" 

Friday, September 20, 2013

Facebook really does not like to think about what it's doing ?

Facebook seems to be systematically removing images of bodyart regardless of what the content is .. be that nude in a bathing suit or otherwise..

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Application to be my evil minion

Application to be my evil minion 

Are you a good shot 
A: No
B: Yes
C: Only reason you are not dead is that this is an online form
D: I don't like weapons

You see an old woman walking in a restricted area in my secret base. What do you do. 
A: check it out 
B : Report it then check it out
C : Sorry about your mother.. She did not suffer. 
D : old woman what harm could she be. I'll put down my gun and see if she is ok 

I give you strict instructions for a mission and something is not going according to plan
A: do not deviate
B: call it in 
C: I know that you may kill me for bothering you but please kill me later as I need to report this. lord 
D: Oh hell no I am not calling in failure 

You have captured a hero 
A: kick them
B: Put him in a death trap
C: call it in ask if you need information or should I just kill them now 
D: taunt them with how brilliant your plan is

I give you a choice of outfit 
A: Red
B: Black 
C: Jeans tshirt that will allow me to get close to your intended victim without suspicion 
D: Everyone fears clowns or better yet something tight fitting with a cape! 

You have failed me for the last time what do you do
C: show you the detonator to the explosives mounted under your chair reminding you that the only reason why I did not kill you is pure loyalty. 
D: Agh chough cough crack .....thump.

The mission you are in has failed what do you do. 
A: beg
B: we can do better boss 
C: wait for the guy who keeps answering "D" to fall to the ground then suggest the guy who answered B is learship material 
D: Agh chough cough crack .....thump.

I ask you to assassinate someone but can leave no evidence to me how do you do it? 
A: wear a ski mask and use a knife 
B: dress up as a bodyguard and pretend to protect my target.
C: tell "A" & "B" that's a good idea then hand "B" the explosive as a backup plan then give "D" the detonator. When "B" pretends to protect the target from "A" I call "D" on his cell knowing that dumbass will answer the detonator instead of his phone blowing "A, B and my target " with D holding the bag. 
D: Hello? Can you hear me now? 

There was an attempt on my life who is responsible? 
A: Don't look at me
B: We must find this traitor 
C: I had a chance to kill you but did not out of loyalty and you ate still breathing do it was not me. I did notice "D" with a detonator.
D: This is a crappy app all it says is "Armed" and "Detonate" I want angry birds!!! Oh Hi guys what's with the pointing guns at me. 

Friday, September 13, 2013

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Poly problems humour

Poly problems

The various problems someone who is poly might encounter 

-Needing to remember the correct safeword for your current partner,......."Potato!! Jellyfish!! PEPERSTAKE!!!!!!!!!!?"

-Calendar sync server maintenance and end up on the wrong date night. 
"Whoops !!!! .... Ummm urrrr sorry .. Wrong house.... Oh and honey don't forget Bobby has a parent teacher conference on Tuesday...."

- Needing an excel spreadsheet for allergies , dietary requirements of your lovers lovers. 

-Having to figure out the correct punctuation for "Lover's lovers" 

-Having to rehearse the "No I'm not jealous " speech 

-Having to rehearse the "I'm not cheating " speech 

-Valentines Day 

-Having to apologise to (Total Lovers x Their Partners) x ( severity of issue / communication skill)  for an asshole remark said at the wrong time 

- Creating ringtones for all your lovers. 

-Watching drama on TV and shouting "COMMUNICATION!!!! COMMUNICATION!!!   Awwwww YOU IDIOT" Like you are watching a sports game! 

~Kevin C. Mason

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Geek stuff

If you are looking for some great tech websites for anyone who does not want to be bound to one OS 

Studio night and tech support

Studio night is where I get a chance to paint .. Not always with my body painting but my other projects. I find that to be an artist you must always try to improve ones skills. And the best part of being an artist is that it's all connected. 

Example : working on sculpture does help your painting when it comes to understanding how a 3d object should look. 

So tonight I am going to be working on some video editing and perhaps work on learning how to speak Japanese. 

I am just hoping that something does not try to pull me away from my work as I am looking forward to painting.


So I got this chance to put on the headset again and do tech support over the phone. I love doing tech support and working from home will save me 2 hours of commuting every day. Not to mention the cost of having to have a ticket every day. All around it sounds like a good idea . 

Time for colour "All colors"

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

How I spend my time

Still working on time to paint. Problem with all my hobbies is that they all take up time. 

Gaming and RPGs don't take up as much time as people think its just that they can take up all your time if you let them. I'm finding that if I have one night a week to game this works nicely. 

Digital time sinks 
I limit my gaming to when I am on the train and only on my phone. As for Facebook and other social networks I have to limit what I do to only 30 min a day (unless I am actively promoting something ) 

Dating ? 
As you can imagine being poly does take up time. Being a husband and a father I try very hard to balance my time accordingly. Most good parents error on the side of "not going out" .. However this can stil be a problem 
. I am currently trying to find time to visit my girlfriend when we are not surrounded by friends and family. It's going to get to the point where my wife and her my have to conspire to find time.. They are good at that . At this point I have a "no new relationships" rule. Feeling that I must take care of the relationships that are currently on my plate before starting something new.

Now for the body painting .. I'm happy that I have a weekly gig. It's really making me think. I have to come up with something new every week. I love the challenge. And to be honest as long as I keep my brushes moving I am happy.

Just one of my paintings

This painting was created on my phone while waiting for the bus 

By this point you might notice that I am a geek , artist , poly and a dad. This page is going to be devoted to all the things that don't fit on my bodypainting blog

Geek insults !

  • You always play Kinder don't you?
  • Let me guess. When the GM requires a social interaction you reach for your dice before opening your mouth. 
  • Shit man I thought pacman had a moderation problem 
  • Still experimenting with inviting girls to game night I see. 
  • Ahh!!!! I see you are from the Keanu Reeves school of character development. 
  •  Wait! Wait don't tell me ..... Fighter/wizard/thief .......again! 
  • Your so picky about the rules you invite your lawyer to game night. 
  • In the character sheet of real life.. How many points did you get for adding the disadvantage of "asshole" 
  • Oooh your cool I bet you are really popular in Azaroth! 
  • Oh don't mind him ..last night His mom sent him to bed before experience was awarded. 
  • Don't mind him ... His alignment is chaotic stupid. 
  • Wow is that a ring of -4 social interaction ? 
  • People!!!!....this is why we balance gaming with physical activity
  •  Dude!!!  Life skills don't have a score! 
  • Really?_______ I was expexting Magic missile? At the darkness?  

Hello to whom it may concern

Just checking to see if this thing is on