Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Application to be my evil minion

Application to be my evil minion 

Are you a good shot 
A: No
B: Yes
C: Only reason you are not dead is that this is an online form
D: I don't like weapons

You see an old woman walking in a restricted area in my secret base. What do you do. 
A: check it out 
B : Report it then check it out
C : Sorry about your mother.. She did not suffer. 
D : old woman what harm could she be. I'll put down my gun and see if she is ok 

I give you strict instructions for a mission and something is not going according to plan
A: do not deviate
B: call it in 
C: I know that you may kill me for bothering you but please kill me later as I need to report this. ........my lord 
D: Oh hell no I am not calling in failure 

You have captured a hero 
A: kick them
B: Put him in a death trap
C: call it in ask if you need information or should I just kill them now 
D: taunt them with how brilliant your plan is

I give you a choice of outfit 
A: Red
B: Black 
C: Jeans tshirt that will allow me to get close to your intended victim without suspicion 
D: Everyone fears clowns or better yet something tight fitting with a cape! 

You have failed me for the last time what do you do
C: show you the detonator to the explosives mounted under your chair reminding you that the only reason why I did not kill you is pure loyalty. 
D: Agh chough cough crack .....thump.

The mission you are in has failed what do you do. 
A: beg
B: we can do better boss 
C: wait for the guy who keeps answering "D" to fall to the ground then suggest the guy who answered B is learship material 
D: Agh chough cough crack .....thump.

I ask you to assassinate someone but can leave no evidence to me how do you do it? 
A: wear a ski mask and use a knife 
B: dress up as a bodyguard and pretend to protect my target.
C: tell "A" & "B" that's a good idea then hand "B" the explosive as a backup plan then give "D" the detonator. When "B" pretends to protect the target from "A" I call "D" on his cell knowing that dumbass will answer the detonator instead of his phone blowing "A, B and my target " with D holding the bag. 
D: Hello? Can you hear me now? 

There was an attempt on my life who is responsible? 
A: Don't look at me
B: We must find this traitor 
C: I had a chance to kill you but did not out of loyalty and you ate still breathing do it was not me. I did notice "D" with a detonator.
D: This is a crappy app all it says is "Armed" and "Detonate" I want angry birds!!! Oh Hi guys what's with the pointing guns at me. 

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